Mangle a Band Name for an NPC!

The annoying thing about Only In Death? I keep coming back to it every now and again.

I’ve had an idea for a campaign and/or setting since 2012, but my perfectionist streak hasn’t quite let me “go” with it. GMing Atomic Robo: The Roleplaying Game for the players of Kill-team Atromitos has given me a good break (and there’s still more to go of it) and I think it’s also boosted my overall GM confidence – so much so that I’ve pulled the notes for the setting out and started tweaking.

The main thing I’ve discovered: I like to make characters, and what I really like about making characters is building them around names.

Because the main thing that’s got be back into planning more Only In Death?

Portugal. The Man.

Yep, them. “Oooh-ooh, I’m a rebel just for kicks, now,” that Portugal. The Man.

What the hell do they have to do with Only In Death? Well, funny you should ask. See, I was thinking about how odd their name was, when all of a sudden, I thought:

Portia Galthemann.

What an awesome name that is, right, folks? Portia Galthemann. That’s a Lord Governor’s name if I ever heard one. I even tried working it into Atomic Robo but it felt like a waste. No, Portia Galthemann wouldn’t let me rest until I went back to Only In Death and gave her her due.

So I opened the old files up and began expanding some of the ideas for the setting. And while I was at it, I started coming up with lists of names. I did get a list of random names of the Internet but I can’t seem to find it. Just like those Space Marine miniatures my mate gifted me about six years back. I’m really steamed about that, what with Kill Team dropping at the end of the month.

But unlike those miniatures, I’m not missing that list of names, much. I wanted something epic-sounding, something Warhammer 40,000-sounding, and even if you get a name generator that’s geared to Warhammer 40,000 the names are still missing that something.

Like the name of a vampire I found in a White Dwarf back in the nineties: Count von Bleistift. Thanks to me studying German in high school, I know that he was actually named, the Count of Pencil.

(It conjures a milkman from Yorkshire named Barry Pencil who got bit and had to move to Transylvania.)

I took my leaf from Portia and started butchering band names I knew:

  • Dephla Pard.
  • Che the Cargo (a Spanish stevedore on a Welsh dock).
  • Rahm Stine.
  • Barack Shabbot.
  • Thessha Menn (and her companion, Ebeneezer Goode).

And these ones I can’t remember the actual original band names for:

  • Avon Djasa van Vold. (Oh, wait – Avenged Sevenfold. That’s right.)
  • Amarn Thrakaras (Anthrax? No; that’s too easy).
  • Shaphai Nalthap.
  • Kirthan Goll.

But what about you folks? How would YOU change your favourite band name (or even a band you’ve sort of heard of) into something that could walk onto the bridge of a battle barge and command some respect?

Tai Kathatt GOD DAMN IT SOMEONE STOP THE PAIN

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